Boyz to Men

Many years ago, I talked to my sons about dating.  Specifically, I explained that women are just wired differently than men.  I'll tell you a well kept secret that will save you a lot of heartache....women are bitches.  Yes, I said that!  I've had a few friends drop their jaw in disbelief at my overt deviation from allegiance to all things female. But hey-- these are my sons!  They needed to know the secret!

I told the boys that a calendar and the ability to count to 28 would give them a chance to anticipate and avoid the week from hell.  I explained that those of the female persuasion can be emotion-led, and may be mad at you for something that has nothing at all to do with you.  My testosterone laden offspring just looked at me with something between disgust and disdain that I had the audacity to broach this subject.  Until.... it  happened.  Young Offspring #1 couldn't for the life of him figure out why his 15 year old girlfriend was mad at him.  And magically, a few days later when she thought he was wonderful again...the light bulb came on.  Mom was brilliant!  A soothsayer of sorts, with accurate insight to that human puzzle known as....the female.  From that point on, the boys came to me with all kinds of "What do you think about..." questions.  


I've wondered, if I'd had girls, what would my dating advice have looked like?  What do I want my grandgirls to know from my experiences?  Though admittedly not an expert, I have learned a few things: 

1.  If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you.  Don't date a cheater.
2.  The way he treats his mother, his sister, and waitresses is indicative of how he will treat you.
3.  Every relationship has a honeymoon stage.  It won't always be as perfect as it feels at first.
4.  If he obsesses about his ex in either a positive or negative light, he's not over her.
5.  If you want to be treated like a lady, act like one.
6.  Don't settle for less than you deserve.  
7.  A man who opens the door for you and who walks on the street side, cares about your well being.  Let him.
8.  Men don't over-think anything.  Asking him what he's thinking about is futile.
9.  Looks fade.  Date someone you are both physically AND intellectually attracted to. 
10. Real men don't hit women.  Ever.  
11. Don't hit him either.
12. Yes, he tells his friends.
13. Be a person of integrity, and you'll attract the same.
14. Be honest with yourself regarding major differences.  If you have staunch opinions about Democrats, or Jews, or vegans, why pretend it's okay that he doesn't share your opinions- if it isn't?  If he is pro gun control, he's not likely to go to the shooting range with you every Saturday just because you're so wonderful.  Be realistic from the start.
15. Date someone who makes you laugh.  Life is short- surround yourself with happy!

I want the grandgirls to find their Prince Charming without having to kiss too many frogs.  There are good guys out there. But like my big brother says, If you're looking for the perfect man, who's all touchy feely, loves shopping and shoes, and is sensitive all the time... he's already got a boyfriend.  Just sayin'.

Seeking Shalom, & Appreciating Longmire, ~Shugie