Before you speak, think -Is it
necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? Will it hurt anyone?
~Sri Sathya Sai Baba
I was unknowingly raised in a family that was financially...comfortable. Let me rephrase... Yes, I knew I was raised. No, I did not know anything about my father's income. I knew I had everything I needed, but certainly not everything I wanted. The reason I was clueless about my family's income: It was none of my business. What I did know was that my father was a businessman of influence in the community. He taught me, "You're judged by the friends you keep" (which put a damper on my penchant for bad boys early on). He had high standards regarding reputation, character, and loyalty in both personal and business matters. I understood from a young age that there were some things that were not to be shared outside of our household. They were not inappropriate, or unethical, they were simply family business.
To this day, I place a high value on matters of family business. Both of my sons understand the concept of family business. Though I don't often provide private details of my life with my circle of friends (as opposed to this blog, which is chock full of musings of no consequence), when I do share, I have an expectation of loyalty. I will tell those who need to know, what they need to know about me. If I don't, then you shouldn't. In a nutshell: It's mine to tell. To that end, I'm thankful for my friends that "get me."
What is it about telling someone else's stuff that is so enticing? According to Psychology Today, people supply information to those with whom they
wish to align themselves. 'When I give you a tidbit of
gossip, I am also telling you that you
are valuable enough to be a recipient and that you should think
well of me for doing so. We use information to form advantageous
alliances that we hope will provide some stability, and ideally an
upper hand, to our place in the social hierarchy.'
My Grandma Flossie used to say of gossip: Oh honey, when they are talking about you they're just giving someone else a break. During my time at the Alliance, everyone else must have been on a break. For 12 years.
What is told in the ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away.
Chinese Proverb
With Faith, ~Shugie
Trust is a valuable thing, a precious thing. Something that is built quickly or slowly, but is also destroyed in an instant when a line is crossed.
ReplyDeleteClearly, anyone who knows you enough to call friend, knows that privacy is important to you. Isn't it to all of us though? Who tells stories behinds one's back for the purpose to alleviated themselves is some sad narcissistic way? Whomever it is, they are not in your small circle that "gets you." Such a simple two-word phrase that means everything and yet so hard to describe. But the question is, if they "get you" it really doesn't need to be described, because it's already known.
Peace.
http://youtu.be/_lSzhjggxjI
Great video clip!! Thanks for sharing. :)
ReplyDelete~Shugie