I Am Woman, Hear Me....... unh!

Unh

onomatopoeia;

exclamation expressing pain, frustration or annoyance;

may or may not occur in tandem with wincing face

I am an independent individual.  This is primarily due to the fact that, well, life chiseled a naïve, scared, clueless young divorced mother of two....into a strong-willed, driven, educated, self sufficient being.  Sometimes however, I want to internally be that dynamo of a woman, while externally being taken care of like a dependent, pampered princess.

Case in point:  Long day.  Three cryers in my office.  Fired a nice guy for poor performance.  Bought a new suit for work over lunch.  Participated in 5 meetings, 3 of which felt unnecessary but politically needed.  Argued with a telephone customer service rep for being rude (a bit of an oxymoron, but it made sense at the time).  Paid bills.  Booked a flight to see the kids.  Note to self, the oil in the car needs changed.  Went to the gym.  Helped a friend through a relationship crisis over the phone while driving.  Put gas in the car on my way home.  

When I walk into my house at the conclusion of this hot mess of a day, I put down my work bag with an audible "unh!"  This day was exhausting and I don't want to be the strong chick right now.  The dog looks at me and tilts her head slightly, unsure of what this mini tantrum means.  What do I really want at that moment??  I covet a hottie standing in my kitchen holding a chilled glass of Chardonnay, telling me, "Your hot bubble bath is ready.  I'll bring your warm towel in shortly.  I remodeled your powder room, and the Louboutin's you wanted will be here tomorrow."  Ahhhh yes, that man is a unicorn (Unicorns are men who are hot AND kind...they don't exist).

Independent me wants to do it all myself.  Pick up the dry cleaning, cook my healthy dinner, read my business journal articles, prepare for all the drama of tomorrow and go to bed early.  In the middle of a night of tossing around I wake myself with another "unh"...as if Unicorn himself would roll over and fix the covers around me, lulling me back to slumber.   

"Unh" means I despise putting gas in my car even though I can.  It means I'm literally decisioned out.  It means, I can't get the lid off of the forkin' peanut butter jar, and it also means I don't want to take out the trash.  I realize that it would indeed take a Unicorn to juggle my strong need for autonomy, in tandem with my morning unh because it's too cold in my room and I'd really rather he brought the coffee to me instead of my walking allllll the way down to the kitchen.  

"Unh" means that doing it all by myself is hard, and sometimes I want to cry instead of being strong.  It means I wish there were Unicorns, and that maybe, just maybe, he exists.  

After all....he did say Louboutin.  

Pursuing Kaizen & Unicorns, ~Shugie



Men, if you can't control your woman, 

then you've found a good one.

~Unknown