I consider myself a
progressive thinker and realize that not everyone on the planet sees things as
I do (though come to think of it, it would make some things a whole lot
easier). However, there are some foundational mores that in my mind are
perfunctory. Apparently rules of etiquette in the business place do not fall
into this category…
On an elevator ride
this morning, I ask a coworker if she enjoyed her weekend. She replied that she
was a little tired because she “…had to give my husband some last night. It had
been a while.” Hmmm…. thinking that I didn’t need to know that. I fake
something that’s meant to be a smile, and wave as I step off the elevator and
head to my first of 7.5 hours of meetings today. Key to the issue, is the fact
that I am the only female in these meetings. All day. All. Day. At one point in
the first meeting, a colleague picked up his smart phone and proceeded to play
solitaire. Apparently, once his monologue was complete he felt no need to
reciprocally listen to others. One gentleman must have some sleep issues, for
later in the meeting he yawned like a grizzly bear waking in the spring—arms
out, full mouth (and as a quick aside I can tell you that he has 3 fillings on
each side and needs his wisdom teeth removed). Really guys?? Can you drink another cup of coffee or something? I mean,
you are getting paid to be here after all…. The guy next to me gives
himself a manicure, with his pen, and then just before speaking he brushes the
refuse from his lap onto the floor. Gag.
Meeting #2 comes
around, and it’s not long before I decide that the men in meeting #1 weren’t so
bad after all. Sitting at a long rectangular table, the speaker sits at the
head of the table. RudeDude next to me turns his chair perpendicular to the
table, and stretches his arm out across the table. For a moment I think he’s
getting ready to take a nap, but as if to correct my silent wonder, he sits up
and proceeds to pick his nose. Nope. Definitely not napping. I try hard to ignore him, but
he is sitting between myself and the speaker. All I can think about is what the
speaker is thinking of his front row seat. I excuse myself, hypothetically
remembering something that I am late for. I go to the ladies room and wash my
hands, trying to remember if I shook RudeDude’s hand. Ewww.
I have a short
break before meeting #3 convenes. My hope that this group of senior leaders
will be any different is quickly dashed, as I walk in to see one of the guys
pulling a hair out of his ear. Nice. I strategically sit so he is out of my
field of vision. Not long into the meeting, the guy next to me sticks his pen
in his ear and then examines it (I’m sure I’m going to lose my lunch any time
now). When Rico Suave starts combing his hair, I find it benign in the scheme
of things. Although I do wonder why he cares about his hair as he sits in a
conference room at 3:30 in the afternoon. If I pulled out a can of hairspray
and proceeded to manage my tresses, these knuckleheads would fall out.
The meeting
adjourns and I am free. I feel like I’ve been in the Twilight Zone all day and
decide that I could have lived my whole big fat life without having experienced
the past 7.5 hours and it would not have hurt my feelings a bit. In an effort to
put the day behind me, I decide that the lovely wives of all these ruh-tards are away on vacation, thus unable
to insure their husbands are properly groomed.
Or, I work with a
bunch of pigs.
In Bliss, Shugie
OMg, that is both too funny and too gross. Although, I'm thankful that some guys' behavior makes me look good...I think...
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