I flew to Orlando this week for a conference and Friendfromwork joined me. Each day when I came back to the room after hours of listening to speakers wax on about their expertise in the field of blahbity blah, there sat Friendfromwork. She was upbeat, chatty, and ready to do dinner or go to the pool, or both. That must be what it feels like to come home to a wife!? But I digress...
Friendfromwork and I have similar tolerances for....how do I say.... people who are irritating. In a nutshell- none.
After realizing there is no seating left outside near the pool at lunchtime, Friendfromwork and I decide that our only option is to sit at a table with someone. I approach a young woman who is sitting alone at a table for five and verrry politely inquire, "Do you mind if we sit here?" She pauses, takes a deep breath and I think I detect a mental "foot stomp," when I quickly rephrase the question. "Are these seats taken?" She says no, we sit down. Cranky butt! Friendfromwork and I sit and kibitz as Crankybutt chats away on her phone. I find her tone with Whoever, is condescending. I'm happy to have a seat, even if I have to listen to Crankybutt's phone call. It's the little victories in life~
Later in the week we are shopping and as we pay for our treasures, the saleswoman shares that it's her first day. She's trying very hard to be helpful. Another saleswoman is barking out "how to's" for the transaction as she smacks on a huge wad of gum. She reminds me of Flo from the 80's show "Alice" and I expect any moment she's going to yell out, "Kiss my grits!" I tell the newbie "Congratulations" as I walk away and mentally note that for customer service training, I need to remind the staff to remove the Bubblicious. I silently wonder what the salesperson who trained her was like...
After one of the workshops I stop in the conference bookstore. I'm greeted by a very helpful woman who tells me that the book I'm searching for sold out 30 minutes ago. She offers to order it for me. I say it's no problem, I'll look for it online when I get home. She counters that they have a computer right here and I can look it up and order it right this moment. I say I'd rather wait. She says no need to wait. I suddenly feel like I'm arguing with my teenager over a curfew. I start to walk away as she puts her hand on my upper arm and tells me the computer "is right over here." A little stunned, I say no thanks a little more certainly this time and then walk away. I decide that she either works on commission, or she somehow believes I desperately needed that book on how to gracefully apologize. My linear mind then wonders about the security at the conference center, and Florida law regarding stalkers. She's good.
We arrived at the airport at an ungodly hour for a morning flight. I was in the coffee line at the airport chatting with Friendfromwork about a red jacket she should buy. (Few conversations are as important!) The line was a good ten people deep and I was lost in our banter. I suddenly heard the guy behind me saying, "Uh mam. MAM IT"S YOUR TURN!" My knee jerk reaction is, "MAM?? Who are you calling MAM? That's my mother! I'm not old enough to be a MAM. Why, I'm young enough to be your....well, your young and youthful Aunt!" Then I wonder, "What's the big deal buddy? Why so cranky??" I soon realize that he too is in line for his morning cup o' joe. I also then quickly assess that I'm likely the irritating person that he'll be talking about when he finally gets his coffee and meets his friend at his gate. "This old lady was just standing there yakking away about clothes....." I grab my caffeine and head to the gate.
I have a confession. When I'm on a flight, as soon as the plane leaves the ground, I put my seat back, tray down and pull out the iPad. My theory is that the flight attendants are strapped into their jump seats- what are they going to do, hit the "eject" button for my seat? Besides, the plane is on it's way, and I don't believe that it's going to crash because of the dastardly gamma rays that are emitted when I start blogging before we reach the big sign in the sky that says, "Welcome to 10,000 feet!" The woman in the seat next to me gives me a snide sideways glance as she simultaneously shows her irritation and refuses to acknowledge me. I quickly dub her "The Rule Follower." I'm typing and reclining and traying before the aircraft crosses the plane of the county line below. Somehow, I feel like such a rebel. I even giggle. Did I mention that "The Rule Follower" is my traveling companion (aka, Friendfromwork)?? I figure, she's had to listen to me snore all week, so she'll get over my "Mavericky Moment." I turn and smile at her. She waits until Susie Sunshine the flight attendant gives mass permission for the good little boys and girls to use their approved, portable electronic devices (the list of which is found somewhere that I ignore), and The Rule Follower pulls out her iPad.
Don't get me wrong, I love The Rule Follower. She tolerates my non-compliantness (yes, made that one up) very well. She is ying to my yang, and she makes me laugh. As I said, The Rule Follower pulled out her iPad at the flight attendant approved, FFA determined, politically correct, good listener moment. She astutely pulls up the Kindle app and opens a new book. She begins to read and I would just bet that she was an "A" student in her 4th grade reading class, for after just a moment her right hand comes up to the top right corner of her iPad and she proceeds to "turn the page" of her book, sending the iPad flying to my lap. I laugh until I cry. She laughs as hard as I do.
People come in all flavors, sizes and shapes, and we all have both wounds and joys that craft the way we do life. I absolutely love the idiosyncricies! Some days I'm just more tolerant of them than others... I can only hope that others feel the same about mine.
Yes, I used the word "Mavericky."
In Bliss, Shugie
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