I told you so

Faith isn’t faith until it’s all you’re holding on to

Near the end of this year.  In the fall.  In December.  In two weeks. Next week. Tomorrow.  Up until this very day, I’ve been able to put off my stress about my son’s pending surgery.  Now when I look at the calendar, I have to acknowledge that it’s here.  Tomorrow.

Although my son has talked to me about his concerns, I know that I can’t completely understand how he feels.  I can only understand it as the mother.  All I want to do and all I’ve ever known to do, is to fix it.  Panic washes over me as I realize that my best efforts with chicken soup and chocolate chip cookies won’t make everything better this time.  This time, I have to trust someone else with my son.  I have to have trust a surgeon, and his hands, and his team, and his talent.  I have to trust that he doesn’t have too much coffee tomorrow…that he and his wife don’t argue tomorrow morning…that my son’s health is as important to him as it is to me.  This ability escapes me, because I know that no one on this earth loves my baby like I do.

However, I know that my God loves him more than I do.  Though I know the boy would chide me, I pray for him incessantly.  I pray through his room, his clothes, and his bed.  I pray for his peace of mind and restful sleep.  I pray for rapid recovery and miraculous healing.  Amazingly, and only by God’s grace, I have a great sense of peace about tomorrow.  I have faith abundant that as I promised, when he wakes up from brain surgery tomorrow afternoon, I will say “I told you so.”  I might even do the "toldyaso dance."

Right after I audibly praise, Thank you Jesus.

God never hurries. There are no deadlines against which he must work. Only to know this is to quiet our spirits and relax our nerves. ~AW Tozer