I've spent the last 3 days with family- mostly my son and grandgirl. I had the privilege of helping to plan and attend her birthday party. This child is a confident one. Not only did she understand completely that the party was for her, but after the fam finished singing Happy Birthday, she insisted that they repeat it.... 2 more times! (AND THEY DID!) I've spent time swinging my little princess at the park, playing hide and seek, and sharing an ice cream cone with her. We danced, and sang songs over and over. And over again. We had a tea party and I taught her the necessity of holding up the pinky finger while sipping. I brushed her hair and was blessed with hugs and smooches galore. I watched my son do clapping push-ups with his baby girl holding on to his back like a monkey. I laughed as he finished in exhaustion and she declared, "Again!" Later when Daddy walked out of the room for the briefest of moments, I smile as Grandgirl wondered out loud, "Where my Daddy go?" He is the most attentive and patient father I have ever seen, and she is his world. They end every day with him stroking her hair and face, while promising, "It's okay, Daddy's here." I love watching their love.
Now I'm in the city for a conference. Not just any city... THE city. Chicago holds an allure for me like no place on earth. I love the people, the noise, the busyness. It's a lifestyle I've always envied. Offspring #1 will stay here with me during my conference and he will commute to work from here. The first night we had sushi and laughed when the elderly waiter thought Offspring #1 said "Ginger Ale" instead of "Gin and tonic." We went for a walk and stopped in at one of my son's favorite hot spots. Very fun. Lots of people. Though I could have given birth to every person in there, Offspring #1 doesn't seem to notice. Or- he's kind enough not to say so. Either way, I enjoy our time and conversation- I'm so proud to be with him. We walk back to the hotel, taking the scenic route (read: got lost), but I don't mind in the least. I'm having a wonderful time with my son, taking silly pictures and laughing. It's a memorable evening with my son. And it's Chicago~
The conference begins the next morning, but the first session is cancelled. Oh snap! I have 5 hours to kill. YippeeForkinSkippee! I head toward my favorite street in my favorite city: State Street. I walk along trying to look like I belong. Not wanting to seem the tourist, I step into a doorway to glance at a map on my phone. Soon enough I'm walking along with my I-work-in-the-city-too look, hot little black pumps clicking along with all of the city commuters. I'm enjoying this immensely, and though I can't help smiling, I have to stifle a giggle. I'm hoping to look like I'm not visiting from a home on 2 acres with coyotes and an occasional bear, but what I really want to do is run into the street and throw a beret in the air like Mary Tyler Moore did in the 70's. About this time I walk over a grate on the sidewalk. The heel of my hot little black pump gets stuck, and I walk right out of my shoe. OMG the horror! I turn to correct my faux pas, and realize...... nobody cares! They walk around me, seemingly oblivious to me. I LOVE THIS PLACE!
I pass a girl with pink hair and no one seems to find it odd. I see a man in an expensive suit, with bling and attitude to match- not a person notices. The woman pushing 4 infants in 2 strollers goes unnoticed by most. I note to myself that the man singing to no one in particular has a good voice. But again, people go about their commute unfazed. In this place, it seems there is no such thing as "unusual" and I find the novelty at the lack of novelty, refreshing.
What will surprise no one, is that this brief realization is an ah-ha moment for me. I work in a world where everything I do is noteworthy to someone. What I wear; Who I date; Which car I drive; Whether or not I have a drink; Where I spend vacation days; the list goes on and on. I'm accountable for my time at work as well as for my choices on personal time. It's become absolutely suffocating and moreover, exhausting. Here I am, in a city where I am visibly invisible. I'm just another Jane Doe standing in line to order a hazelnut latte at Starbucks, and not a person in the place is looking to see with whom I am having coffee! I've been missing out all this time on supreme anonymity!
I get my coffee and head back onto State Street with napkins in hand lest I start drooling at all of the stores that are calling my name. As I confidently walk on, I see another grate on the side walk. I hear my grandgirl's voice saying, "Again!" and proceed to walk across the grate, holding my heel up jusssssttttttt enough to keep from getting it stuck this time. I smile and decide it's good that I'm not wearing that beret today. Maybe I do know where my grandgirl gets her attitude. And I also know where I want to live when I grow up.
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