Every once in a while, we all have a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I guess it helps to put the good days into perspective....?
Mine started with a nail in the side of my tire. Thankfully, Mr. BFFfromHS was there to run interference. He offered to switch cars for the day, and said that he would take care of the rest. Nice! The drive into work was unusually miserable, with 3 separate car accidents preventing me from getting to work on time. While sitting in the traffic surrounding accident #3, I thought how uncomfortable the neckline of my straight fitted dress was, only to notice that I had it on backwards! I actually considered flipping it around as I sat there, but decided for the benefit of my fellow commuters- it could wait.
After arriving at the office, I realized that I had no keys to my office or file cabinets because they were with my car, with Mr. BFFfromHS, with the flat tire. Sigh. At this point I asked my admin Susie Sunshine to find an extra key to my office while I went to the water closet to correct my fashion faux pas. After the 180 degree shift, I looked in the mirror to make sure there were no boob prints in the now back of my dress; and no butt prints in the front. Check.
I head back toward the outer office, but am unable to get in because I had yet to put my ID badge on. This wouldn't be such a big deal if I hadn't sent an email to the entire staff the day prior telling those who neglect to wear their ID badge, repercussions would include disciplinary action, up to or including termination. Now....aren't I the smart one....
I get Susie Sunshine's attention, she buzzes me in (though she isn't appearing very sunshiney) and hands me a key to my office. I try not to look as frazzled as I feel, as I thank her and walk down the hall to unlock my door. I sit down and decide I'd rather not speak to another person all day when I remember that I'm firing a man this afternoon!
In the meantime Mr. BFFfromHS calls to say that since my vehicle is all wheel drive, I don't need a tire. I NEED FOUR! Well isn't that special...
Man who gets fired is oddly complacent during the termination meeting. By this time I naively think I've had all of the day I can stand, so I take it at face value: Maybe he wanted to get fired and he's thankful! About that time he goes to his car and returns with a bulging pocket. Before making any funny judgements on that one, know that the unarmed Rent-a-Cop assesses that this bulge is either a gun or a tazer. After an uneventful exchange, I call a real police officer to file a report and he asks if the termed employee knows where I live. O. M. G.
The following week an actual, armed, handcuff toting, bullet-proof-vested police officer is to join me every day in the office. Appreciative as I am, I learn this means I will need to be in the office at 6:00am to let him in. Clearly, I am here to tell the story, so all is well. But let me assure you..... I'll never wear THAT damn dress again.
With Faith and still whining about my Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, ~Shugie
It's really hell when one gets boob prints in the back and butt prints in the front. Reminds me of the early 90s rap-sensation "Kris Kross." I think they lasted about 6 months...
ReplyDeleteAh Susie Sunshine, don't we all enjoy the presence of at least one if these in our career? The type you want and should fire, but know you have to have "i" dotted and every "t" crossed, else be entangled in a 5 year law suit? I imagine Susie doing nails at the front desk after taking 20 minutes to actually sit in the chair.
Ha, cops. Sometime they are actually good to have around. Ok, 1% of huge time.
4 tires...any early birthday present to yourself...perhaps? Uhm, perhaps not...
Birthday present indeed! But when I spend that much $ it should come with a sunburn and a hangover!!
DeleteSeriously Sis - laugh out loud funny!
ReplyDeleteHere to serve~
DeleteMy bad day sounds like no big deal now!
ReplyDelete