I found out in December that my office was going to be closed at the end of March. It was called a reduction in force, but no matter how you slice it, it was a termination. A conclusion. An ending. So began the sleepless nights fraught with what-if's and how-will-I's. The realization that I didn't have a long term financial safety net (aka the ability to retire and watch 'Ellen' all day) brought on many 3am cold sweat episodes. At first.
Eventually, I had to make this linear in my mind. No, I didn't have all the answers, but the Lord did. I put my faith into knowing that all I really had to do was Be still and know. I chanted myself to sleep each night with the promise of I will take hold of your right hand and help you. Do not fear. I consistently reminded myself that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. And most importantly, I promised to give Him all the glory once it all played out- however it played out. I was able to move from the terror of what-if's to the excited anticipation of what-will-be. I still had occasional moments of sheer terror at the unknown, but would return to my sense of peace in short order.
I have an app on my phone that sends me random inspirational messages throughout the day. Sometimes they are as simply as, "Drink more water," and sometimes they are deeper, reminding me to think positively, breathe deeply, or to be kind to someone I just don't like. This past Friday, my reminder shared Jeremiah 29:11-14.
For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,and will bring you back from captivity.
A few hours later, I received a call with a very healthy job offer. I still don't have all the answers regarding the details of my future. But right now, I have everything I need.
With faith, ~Shugie
I think it is important for linear thinkers (I include myself in that category) to remember and rest in the fact that many (most?) times God only reveals to us the next step. We want to know the next twelve steps. It's easy to have faith when we know the whole story, not so easy when we have just one chapter. I applaud your faith in this process, and look forward to seeing the complete story being revealed as time goes on. This "healthy job offer" may only be God's short term answer to his long term plan. Now THAT 'S exciting!!!
ReplyDeleteSo proud of you!
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