When I was a little girl, I believed in fairy tales... that fantasy of what life would be. White dress, a prince charming who would carry me away to a castle on a hill. I would lie in bed at night and close my eyes and had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close I could taste them, but one day the fairy tale disappeared. It's hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because we all have that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day we will open our eyes and it will come true. Then one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. This life, with all of its complexities, may be the fairy tale after all, because the journey is the best part. It's Happily Ever After...right now.
Reality is just a matter of perception
per·cep·tion: noun \pər-ˈsep-shən\ awareness of the elements of environment through physical sensation.
You see a man at a party holding a martini, and assess that he is social. Is he? He later steps out onto the balcony and lights a cigarette. You consider that he is aloof. Is that accurate? He's later seen in the library of the house, holding a tobacco pipe. You think he appears wise. True?
We all hear and espouse, "perception is reality." I challenge that comment and counter with, "perception is YOUR reality." Big difference.
In his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey describes a man on a bus with his three children. The man looks exhausted, and all but ignores the young children as they run wild up and down the bus, jumping and screaming, even knocking the newspaper out of a woman's hands. The other passengers become irritated as it appears that the man thinks nothing of this abhorrent behavior. What a selfish parent! Finally a passenger says, "You need to get control of your kids!" The father runs his fingers through his hair before answering, "You're right. We just left the hospital where their mother passed away after a long illness. I do need to get control." Silence. The new paradigm produces a new reality in the heart and mind of every person on that bus.
How often are we quick to assess a situation based upon a snapshot of information? If you knew the woman speeding past you in the right lane was meeting her husband who is being taken by ambulance to the ER, would you still think she's a "crazy woman driver!"??
Would you be so judgmental about the naughty boy in your daughter's third grade class if you knew he was often beaten by his parent?
The cranky cashier at the grocery might be given more grace if you knew that she was worried about her young kids who were home alone.
What about the elderly woman you know who just seems unkind and often cruel in her remarks? Is she just a bitter and mean spirited person? Or is she scared of the process of getting old alone?
I once (quite accidentally) wore jeans to work on a day that jeans weren't allowed. I quickly heard rumors running rampant about how I didn't adhere to the same rules that others were held to. I wanted to defend myself-- Wait! You don't know the real story! Let me explain...
How often do we assess "reality" before we let the other person explain?
In Bliss, Shugie
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