Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and
petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Phillipians 4:6
Everyone is good at something. Offspring #1 has a photographic memory and amazes me at the detail with which he can recall information. His personality is charming and engaging. Offspring #2 is a great dancer! He has a witty sense of humor and a bent toward politics. Me? I excel at worrying.
I'm the best worrier I know. I should have an Oscar for my expert worrying skills. My preferred time of day for worrying about the details of life is 3a.m. Mentally juggling the responsibilities of my job, and maintaining a house, and helping the boys is daunting sometimes. Into the wee hours I replay conversations, and plan meetings. I worry about things I can change and things that I have no control over. I worry about things I might forget. I even worry about things that aren't an issue. Case in point: The first week of every month I panic that I might have forgotten to make my house payment. Then I realize that it's auto-deducted from my checking account, as it has been for the past 21 years! Haven't had a late payment yet.
Sometimes, I try to pray myself back to sleep. I pray for the kids' health and safety. Then, I take it down a level and pray for their classes, and their work loads and their cars. Thinking about their cars triggers me to worry about the tires on their cars and whether the vehicle is safe. I make a mental note that tomorrow I will look into how old the tires are. Did I pay the car insurance this month? I think I did. I better check online tomorrow morning. I go back to praying about apartment rent, and the boys' health, and tuition costs. Tuition... which day is tuition due? I paid the first half I know, but I don't think I paid the second half yet. Do that tomorrow. By the time I get out of bed in the morning, my "tomorrow" already has a full day's worth of worry ready and waiting!
I fully recognize that worry is in contrast to faith. In my waking hours I try to be purposeful to "let go and let God." But in the early morning hours, my worry meter is on full tilt. Will I ever be able to retire? The deck needs stained. Did I prepare enough for that meeting tomorrow? Do I need to put chemicals in the hot tub? I think the dog needs food. Is there milk in the fridge? Don't forget to send Mom a birthday card. I should buy fertilizer for the yard. Does the oil need changed in the car? When is my performance review? Should I have bought those shoes? Remember to send that email tomorrow. Wow, I'm not getting enough sleep- I should talk to the doctor about that. Remember to make a doctor's appointment.
I know the Lord is in control and I'm so happy that He is. I couldn't do all my worrying and His too! ;-)
In Bliss, Shugie
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