Given the chance, what choices would you make differently- Education? Career? Relationships? Knowing what you know now, would you make the same choices?
Would I have moved to Colorado?
Hardest decision of my life, and I was far too young to make it by myself. I've learned to "toughen up" as my Dad told me to; I made a lot of friends; raised my sons in a healthy, beautiful place; and met the most wonderful man after more than 2 1/2 decades. Probably best that at the beginning of the journey, I had no idea how rocky the road from then until now would be.
Would I have filed for divorce?
Yes. I know that it caused the boys a tremendous amount of hurt. However, they've become men of integrity and I'm confident that wouldn't have been the case had I stayed married. 'Nuf said.
Would I have let Jacob move to Illinois?
No. At least, I would have strongly discouraged it. He was seeking the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, while trying to run from a scarred relationship with his dad. I would have been an advocate of his taking a semester off school to travel, but I should have lobbied harder for him to stay in Colorado.
Lots of "what ifs" and "would I's" are bouncing around my head. I can philosophize all day about what could have been. But- my sons are good people. I'm going to be a grandma in a matter of days. I have a home and an income and I talk to my sister every day. I have Ya-Ya's and Colorado snowstorms. I shop for what I want and then have buyer's remorse with every purchase. I have a w(h)ining friend. Every day I laugh. And every day is more certainty that the choices I made brought me to this place. And I'm thankful for every one of them.
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